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He-Man Woman-Haters Club

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Spanky presiding over a meeting of the He-Man Woman-Haters Club in Mail And Female

Biography

Spanky founded this exclusive club as a defense against girls and Valentine's Day, but Alfalfa's heart was just not in it. His love for Darla keeps him from taking it seriously, but Spanky soon forces him to realize the bonds of brotherhood. Spanky later restores the club as an act of revenge after none of the boys get invited to the MacGillicuddy Girls' party, and institutes Alfalfa as president. However, when Alfalfa learns the club rules to never fraternize with the girls again, he is forced to rush back and get back a love note he sent to Darla, later trapping the club members there, but he gets busted when the love note is discovered.

The club later returned in "Beauty Queen for a Day", an episode of the animated series. In this episode, Spanky (who voted himself president of the club) claims that the Rascals are having their first meeting. For the initiation, Spanky has fellow members Alfalfa, Buckwheat, and Porky stand on their left foot and raise their right hand, while agreeing to the club's oath. Spanks asks his friends, "do you promise never to trade your bubble gum card with a girl? Never lend your best fishing worms to a girl? And never let a girl carry your books home from school?". After the boys refused to let Darla into the Rascals' treehouse, Darla breifly considered starting her own club, "The She-Woman Man Haters Club". At the end of the episode, in an attempt to cheer Darla up for losing the town beauty pageant, the boys made Darla queen of their club. Darla's response to her role was, "I guess anybody can be a beauty queen, but not everybody can be "Queen of the He-Man Woman Haters Club!".

The 1990s version of the group contains several other, largely unidentified members. This club is based in a ramshackle structure pieced together by the band to hold their go-cart, The Blur. Froggy stands guard at the door to admit members by secret signs, suggesting there are still other neighborhood kids not part of the club. Spanky is the president, Stymie is the sergeant-at-arms and Uh-Huh is the secretary. Their club vow is as follows:

"I, (state name here, but everyone just repeats Stymie's name), a member of good standing of the He-Man Woman-Haters Club, do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or touch them unless I have to and especially never fall in love and, if I do, may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours or until I scream bloody murder."

Unfortunately, Stymie shoots through the last part of the vow with such spirit and intensity that the only thing the rest of the club can do is agree with him. The modern club also has a number of special club words that only they know what they mean. A few of these words are "azuga" (good or approved), "yoy" (Yay or yes) and "smoley-oley" (congratulations).

Members: (original shorts) Alfalfa Switzer, Buckwheat Thomas, Porky, Spanky McFarland, Spike

(movie) "Bobby", Froggy Laughlin, Stymie Beard, "Sing Joy", "Tommy", Uh-Huh Collum

Note: The short, Mail And Female, showing the actual creation of the club after it had appeared in Hearts Are Thumps can possibly be attributed to being a flashback, continiuity-wise.

Shorts


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