Mrs. Funston Evergreen Kennedy is a member of Greenpoint's high society. As her police officer husband looks over the kids in the neighborhood, she writes a play called The Gladiator's Dilemma, based on the "Quo Vadis" story, to be played before the community by the Golden Age Dramatic League. Her husband helps her in the production, but when the kids start forgetting their lines and improvising, things fall apart. Audience members hurl eggs and pies at the cast, and at the end Funston is the recipient of a barrage of pies thrown by the Rascals, with her husband's approval.
The Kenndeys have no kids of their own.
Funston was played by Gertrude Sullivan.